I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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