I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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