rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
