i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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