yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
