Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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