I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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