If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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