I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
