jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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