you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
