He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize