I wish my penis had an off switch
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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