He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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