I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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