these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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