idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize