I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
