I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize