I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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