can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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