i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
