Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
