Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
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He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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