Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
