I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
