I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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