I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize