I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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