why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
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No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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