i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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