Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't deserve a penis
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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