I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
