brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
