Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we made out on top of his cat.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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