I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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