My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
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Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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