the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
