"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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