i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
