I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
