Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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