Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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