Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
