Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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