porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
