i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize