Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
