Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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