Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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