I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
