either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
