How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
