Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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