I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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