I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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