i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
