you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
