if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
