Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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