I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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